Wednesday, January 5, 2011

reflecting & looking forward

it's crazy to think about all the things that have happened in my life over the past ten years. i know that wasn't all that long ago, but it sure feels like it has been a lifetime. i went from being a single mother of a preschooler, to being married with a teenager and a toddler. before i met my husband, i had an awesome well paying job that i loved. i traveled as much as i could: to new york city, san francisco, atlanta, etc. i recovered from a broken heart (twice), and just when i had given up on relationships altogether, i stumbled upon danny. i drove to las vegas a handful of times, two amazing trips in particular: the first time i ever laid eyes on danny (it was love at first sight), and then when we were married there six months later (best thing ever!)

i left my job of seven years, packed up and moved away from the only home i had ever know (twenty five years in the same house), and left my entire life behind to be with the man i love. not only that, but i uprooted my almost nine year old daughter, and basically flipped her life upside down. that was, without question, the single hardest decision i have ever made. ever. waaay harder than choosing to become a mother at age sixteen. i have no regrets, i am glad about the choices i have made in my life, and i love where i am at right now. i only wish i had considered how it would affect my family, especially my parents, and i wish that we had not ended up living so far away. despite all the difficult and sad things, i think we have created a pretty great life/family out here on the east coast.

i missed doing an end of year/new year post last january, so i'm kind of a year behind, haha. 2010 wasn't our best year, we struggled a bit (kids fighting, exhausted/ornery/stressed out parents, air headed teenager, and lots of financial worry) we didn't do as much as we had in past years, or that we would have liked to do (travel etc.), but we made it through the year as a family. and that is what is important. we have made ourselves at home in this new little house, we are grateful for our good health, and we are looking forward to the future. here is to a new year, a new decade (even if it's a year late!), and new adventures.

i don't really do resolutions, but i do like to make personal goals, so here is my list (in no particular order) that i will be able to look back on, and update when things have been accomplished:

  • get all of our photos edited, printed, organized, and into albums. i am super behind on this, and i'm a bit overwhelmed with it all, but it needs to be done, pronto.

  • read my magazines as soon as they come in the mail. this is a simple goal. i have been pretty good about it since the move, but i still have a stack of old ones that need to be read.

  • finally get our house organized and officially put away. i am almost done, and the kids exchange this month will help me clear out a lot of our clutter. oh, and i have tons of items to list on ebay, so i need to get on that too.

  • spend more time outside with malcolm/as a family. we are really good about this in the spring and the fall, but it's more of a challenge when it's really hot or cold out. i need to learn to accept all of the seasons, and get out in the fresh air no matter what the weather is like.

  • add more children's books to my little library. this one will be easy for me, and thanks to borders coupons, it won't break the bank.

  • get malcolm totally potty trained (hopefully by his third birthday). he has been going #2 in the potty for a few months now, and he is really great about telling us when he needs to go, but we need to start working on going #1 in the potty all the time too. no more diapers. (any advice you might have is welcome!)

  • get a tattoo for malcolm.

  • find and try some new easy, healthy vegan meals. we rarely eat out, and we tend to make the same meals at home a lot, so we are getting bored with our options. (please leave suggestions, if you have some!)

  • visit more parts of our state. we are still tourists when it comes to north carolina, and there is so much of it that we haven't seen yet. hopefully we can squeeze in some weekend day trips here and there.

  • blog more. last year i had so many posts that i meant to do, but never got around to. i know danny and alanna think it is annoying when i am taking too many photos, or when i'm on here working on a post, but it is important to me. this is my online scrapbook of our family memories, and i want to keep a record of everything. plus this keeps my mother up to date on our lives, and i know she loves it as much as i do. it is therapeutic in a way, and i always feel like i've accomplished something when i'm done. so i'm gonna do better at keep it up to date :)

  • start sewing. my sweet mother gave me a small sewing machine a few years ago for christmas, and i have never used it yet. shame on me. i never had much time or extra money to start this hobby, until now. malcolm is getting older and can entertain himself better, and my mom gave me a generous gift card for joann so i can stock up on supplies. now to decide on what to make first!

and most importantly:

  • show my family (including my husband) and friends just how much i love and appreciate them. send more letters, make more phone calls, and be more vocal about how important they are to me (love you guys!)
  • help myself look better, so that i feel better. this past year i have really let myself go, and it is starting to drag me down. i feel like i look a mess, and i'm ready for some change. i'd like a new beauty regimen that will make me look and feel better; new skincare products (i want healthy, beautiful skin, is that too much to ask for?!) new haircare products (i can't seem to find just the right ones), maybe start wearing a little makeup (eeek, i have no idea where to begin?!), and some new clothing staples to replace the old tired items i've been wearing forever. i just wish these things weren't so expensive.
  • so there you have it, i'm sure that i missed a few things, and wow this is a much longer list than i had thought. i'd better get busy, haha. i did start the year off right, and on monday i had my bad molar pulled. it had caused me a lot of annoying pain this past year, and i'm glad that it is gone. it is nice to know that i won't have to worry about it ever causing me any more discomfort. having it removed was emotional. it hurt a little, and the pressure that i felt while the dentist pried it out of my gums was crazy. when he was done and he sat me up in the chair, i teared up a little. i was thinking "what have i done?! i will never have that tooth back!", but on the way out of the room, i snuck a peek at the broken pieces of tooth on his tray, and i was glad it was out. good riddance to that nasty little tooth. out with the old, right!? :)


    1. I love your posts - all of such a down to earth person (thanks for keeping it real)

    2. Happy New Year Lauren. You are a good mom and Danny is lucky to have you.